The Importance of Being Alone

The Soup of the Salton Sea

The most important relationship we have in our lives is with our selves. And even though we are the only ones who are present at every moment of our lives—from birth onward—this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate. This may be because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even teaching us to set aside our own needs for the needs of another. Until we know ourselves, however, we cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support our mutual growth toward our highest potential. By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship.

Perhaps at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, while living alone. We can now support ourselves financially, socially, and emotionally without needing a spouse for survival in any of these realms. With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners, creative cohorts, and neighbors. Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a mate then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created and the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves.

As we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we may find that there are times where being alone nourishes us and other periods in which a partnership is best for our growth. We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory. Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognizable roles or not. Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship—the one with our true selves.

The image here is from one of the most beautifully desolate locations in Southern California – The Salton Sea. It is truly unworldly and seemed appropriate for the subject of this post. This was a long exposure taken on the East Shore close to Bombay Beach. The crust in this old pier is from accumulation of salt from the sea over time and extreme temperature fluctuations – the shoreline is not sand, but millions of dead Tilapia, dried and bleached by the hard desert sun!

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Thanks for stopping by!

13 responses

  1. Darlene Kwiatkowski

    Your editorial copy content is just as extraordinary and superb as your photography. I enjoy reading your thoughts on life and further pondering while viewing your magnificent images. Thank you – I think we all need to take time to connect with who we really are… Some experience an entire lifetime and still don’t have a clue. Kind Regards, Darlene Kwiatkowski

    November 10, 2012 at 6:11 pm

  2. How utterly profound! What an incredible story in both your photography and words here! This is a post that everyone should see, it really reveals a little about the human condition as accented here by poignant photography. Incredible work!! Top drawer!

    November 13, 2012 at 4:57 pm

  3. Pingback: This Many Awesome Photography Links May Be Hazardous to Small Children

  4. I find that my happiest and most creative moments are when I am alone. Often times friends or a significant other doesn’t respect that quiet space needed in order create concepts or just to shoot. I have found that I am very comfortable with myself surrounding myself with a great support system. Smiling… better half will come along and if not? Lol oh well I am joyously content.

    Thank you for sharing so eloquently what I have always felt in my heart.

    November 16, 2012 at 11:13 pm

  5. A reblogué ceci sur DmartienJ Space and commented:
    Add your thoughts here… (optional)

    November 18, 2012 at 6:11 pm

  6. Your words and photo is inspirational. Finding this post seems to be exactly what I needed to find!

    November 20, 2012 at 3:47 pm

  7. Some people say it’s sad to be alone at thanksgiving, I find solitude to be sublime.

    November 20, 2012 at 6:16 pm

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